God's Teeter-Totter

“What are you doing tomorrow morning?” asked my Russian friend one late Saturday night. “Going to church.” I replied “What about you? Do you go to church?”

“Yes, sometimes. But I don’t really like it.” He answered. He went on to share his views on church and how it seems like much of it was just created to keep people in line and to give the hurting hope. This opened our conversation to an unexpected but welcomed spiritual discussion about church, Jesus, life and what is important.

A few months ago I was thinking about my approach to evangelism. Early on in ministry I was taught to share the Gospel the first time and every time I met with someone. If they weren’t interested we would go on to the next person who was. This meant that in almost every conversation I had with a Russian my first thought was

usually “How can I steer this toward the Gospel?” The motivation behind this was that we were only going to be in our location for short time and it was our job to sow broadly. We were there to share the Gospel with as many people as possible. There is nothing wrong with that, but as in all things, it needs balance.

Then when we worked alongside students in New Orleans our approach shifted from daily evangelism on campus to helping students learn how to effectively share their faith with their friends and fellow students. We used tools such as surveys, short films, music and giveaways to engage students in spiritual discussions. This was good because it taught us to listen first then respond appropriately. But the negative side was that hardly anybody heard the Gospel because we were so afraid of offending people.

Something wasn’t quite right. Something was missing. We weren’t effective in our random, on-campus evangelism efforts but what was effective was the community that students were building around them. They would pray, worship and study the Bible together in addition to just doing life together. Other students were attracted to this and slowly but surely their hearts were opened to the bedrock of the community, Jesus Christ. We don’t know how many trusted Christ over the two years we served there. What we do know is that the majority were drawn to him not because of convincing arguments in a random evangelistic conversation but rather because of the love of Christ lived out among the believers on that campus.

Now I’m not saying that we shouldn’t go out and sow broadly. Surely, Jesus did that and taught his disciples to do it. But we should take the same posture Jesus did, as a person who is humble and genuinely concerned for others, rather than a lording, hateful know-it-all. God knows I’ve been the latter too many times and it is causing me to rethink my whole approach to this.

In the fall two things caused me to think hard about this (and I’m still working through it). One was the book “GodSpace” by AIA (Athletes in Action - a division of Campus Crusade) staff member Doug Pollock. The other was a broadcast of “This American Life” by NPR entitled Bait & Switch. In this broadcast the host, Ira Glass (a self-proclaimed staunch atheist), interviews a Christian writer who has written extensively on evangelism. They talk about the old-school methods of hosting a big event under false pretenses only to slip a Gospel presentation in at the end. They even specifically mention Campus Crusade and a beach outreach strategy we have used. This caused me to perk my ears up. The host asked if it was wrong and manipulative to lie to people even if they think they are doing a greater good in the end. The author agreed and offered a different approach. He says we should befriend people who are not Christians just for the sheer sake of their friendship and being very transparent with them about the desire for them to know God. Or as the host put it “all bait and no switch.”

At that same time I was reading the book “GodSpace” and it was talking about this same thing. While doing evangelism we often manipulate conversations to go in a direction that often the other people don’t want it to go. The author talks about how often we lay our hands on a conversation in hopes of pointing them to Christ but what really happens is that the conversation ceases to be a conversation and becomes a sales pitch. Whether we are aware of it or not we believe that we have become God’s sales reps and that it is our job to sell Jesus to the other person. Oh how convicted I felt when I read that! It’s been haunting me since.

Pollock goes on to describe several more “Conversation Killers” such as an unbelieving heart, pre-conceived notions of what Christians are, awkward transitions (guilty!), disrespect, agendas and so on. He offers a solution which is not easy. He calls it God’s teeter-totter. It involves lots of listening and responding with wondering questions. Too much listening and the person feels like they are at a therapist’s office, too much questioning and they feel like they are being interrogated. Instead when we authentically listen to a person and respond with a question that is an honest wonder to you the conversation is not a pitch, the person is not manipulated and the truth is still being sought after.

This was running through my mind as I talked with my Russian friend that late Saturday night. As we talked about the state of the church I wondered aloud what Jesus would say about it. We talked about growing up and out of our twenties and into our thirties. I wondered if we had changed in the past ten years and if we would be the same ten more years from now. Our conversation ebbed and flowed naturally and when it was over I didn’t try spiritual CPR by asking an out of topic spiritual question. I let it sit until the right time; until God gave us another open door. I am still struggling with finding the balance between being a good listener and being a minister of the Gospel. Jesus was bold AND compassionate. For too long I’ve been too bold. I want to be compassionate but not to the point that the Gospel is never heard or proclaimed (that would be the least compassionate thing one could do).

I want my friend to know Christ and enjoy him forever. I want him to be awed by God. What I don’t want is to approach him as another “notch on my crown” (which he isn’t) nor as a project to be worked on. He is my friend. And I want my friend to know Jesus.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this, please post them if you would like to.